My Hysterectomy

I decided that, at 30 years old, I wanted to get a hysterectomy. It was a three day operation in a hospital not unlike a movie version of an old-school psych ward. I was in and out of consciousness during my stay and fell out of my bed three times. My bed was on wheels so I was also slip sliding all over the room.

I remember I wanted my mother there with me while I went through the procedure but that I went through it alone. After the three days I was all set to go. Uterus free. The side effect of the surgery, however, was that my legs were a very different shape. In fact, they were ridiculously cartoon-like. Not unlike these gams below...


And while I was excited about my new found ankles (in real life I have what I call "cankles" which are calf-ankles) I was aware at how sharp and unrealistic my legs were to those around me.

My first day out in the world post-op I was wearing a skirt. I was aware now that anyone who saw my legs would know that I was uterus-free and thus was trying to pull my skirt down over my legs to cover them. My operation was none of their business. To no avail. The pointing ensued and my embarrassment must have woken me up.

Note: I started a new job 2 weeks ago and told my office-mate my dream and she was mortified. Too much information I guess.